We’re fond of the word “evolution,” and use it frequently in our essays and meanderings but not in the Darwinian sense of genetic mutation or survival of the fittest. We’re generally referring to the process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse – to a higher, more complex, or better state. In other words – Growth.
We’ve discovered that the process of continuous change is inevitable and a fundamental part of personal evolution. It’s better to get onboard with change rather than digging your heels in and attempting to avoid it. Not accepting change almost always leads to pain and suffering. The ego doesn’t let go of “what was” willingly however, so there will always be an internal struggle.
“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?” ― John Keats
Your ego tries to steer you towards validating what you already believe, rather than seeking new concepts, ideas and experiences. Fear of what will happen next, causes you to resist the process, instead of changing and adapting to new conditions. Personal evolution is a process of changing and becoming, that mimics the flow of nature. Like the moon in the night sky, you go through phases of waxing and waning, as you achieve one goal and set the next.
“We’re not on our journey to save the world but to save ourselves. But in doing that you save the world. The influence of a vital person vitalizes.” ― Joseph Campbell
I remember a major midlife crisis, like it was yesterday. It happened about a quarter century ago. I was at the top of my game, working for a company I loved for over 20 years. Then a large corporation bought it and there was a paradigm shift. It was like going from “Cheers,” where everybody knew your name to “Stranger in a Strange Land”
The transition from one space to another awakened me to the impermanence of everything. I was able to for the first time in my life, embrace that impermanence. When the experience began, it was a “dark night of the soul.” Everything in my life was turned upside down and inside out. But I lived through it, (barely) and once I embraced the change, it started clicking, and I flourished.
“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” ― Sigmund Freud
Of course as soon as I got comfortable, everything shifted again;>) Continuous change is the journey you must take; satisfaction and fulfillment come from stretching yourself and pushing the limits of your potential. When you decide to pursue change, enthusiasm follows. You’re excited about the new possibilities and haven’t realized how much energy and effort are going to be required to actually achieve what you’re aiming at.
After the excitement and enthusiasm wane a bit, you begin to understand just how steep the learning curve is towards your new goal. It’s going to be difficult and fear sets in. Fear that you won’t be able to achieve it. Sadly, a lot of folks give up their goal right there, without even trying. The fear phase is the most critical stage of your personal evolution.
“Do one thing every day that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt
It’s not just fear of failure either. Some folks fear success as much as failure. The message might be that we need to accept the fear because it’s always going to be there. Failures teach us many of the most important lessons in life and you can’t argue with success. The ability to take action in spite of the fear is the key to achieving the goals you set for yourself.
I told parable to the students at the seminars I used to give back during my flourishing, a quarter century ago. I’m not sure where I first heard it but it resonated with me and I loved to tell it:
The Great African Savanna is home to an incredible diversity of ungulates. Impala, Eland, Zebras, Gemsbok and Gazelle, in teeming herds, eat their way across the plains. Lions wait in the tall grass nearby, anticipating the chance to prey upon the grazing animals. In preparation, they send the oldest and weakest members of the pride away from the rest of the hunting pack. Having lost much of their strength and most of their teeth, the roar of the old ones is far greater than their ability to bite. The old lions go off and settle in the grass directly across from where the strong and hungry lions wait and watch. As the herd enters the area between the hunting pack and the old lions, the old ones roar mightily. At the sound of the roaring, most of the herd panics. Blinded by fear, they turn and flee from the seeming source of danger. As they rush wildly in the opposite direction, they run right to where the strongest lions wait in the tall grass for dinner to arrive.
“Run towards the fear,” I would emphasize to the students. Fear has the potential to awaken your deepest resources. Move towards it or succumb to it. Step into life completely and face your fears or risk slipping into a diminished life, defined by fear and anxiety.