"Fighting Addiction" was one of the first essays I wrote at 3MPH, six years ago. Here is an updated version with a few minor edits and some added images.
Fighting Addiction
We’re all dealing with addiction, and how we deal with it is more important than the addiction itself. I’ve concluded most neurosis and addictions manifest from events that befall us in our youth, from about the age of five through puberty. The formative years, where the deepest and broadest fragment of our personal evolution happens in a short period of time. Numerous beliefs are collected, that you carry for the rest of your life.
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol, morphine or idealism.” ― Carl Gustav Jung
The beliefs that you collect are like branches of thought on the trees of your mind. Humans have over 50,000 thoughts per day, many of them tied to beliefs. Imagine your over-active ego, as a monkey swinging furiously through the jungle of your mind from branch to branch, 50,000 times per day. This internal dialogue can become unbearable, and in the extreme it can cause addiction and dependence on substances or actions that throttle back what some refer to as “Monkey Mind.”
The monkey’s not going to leave either, so you need to train it. The first step is recognizing there’s a monkey in there but that it’s not you, and you can live with him or her successfully, once you understand their modus-operandi. It’s also nice to have a friend around to chat with on those cold and lonely nights.
Trip to the Zoo
An image that comes to mind when I consider the term “Monkey Mind” is a trip to the zoo when I was around 11 years old. There was a monkey swinging wildly from limb to limb, “ohhhh, ohhh, ahhh.” The primal monkey screams echoed unnaturally off the concrete walls. Then the monkey slowed down and gently rocked back and forth, hanging by one arm from a branch. He reached down with his off hand, shit a bunch of little monkey pellets into it and flung them at the crowd huddled around the monkey cage.
Then to make sure all the goggly-eyed spectators knew exactly how he felt, he let out that primal monkey scream again, smiled with big white monkey teeth, lined with contrasting brown stains from the acid rich diet. Laughing shrilly, he reached down and grabbed his little monkey dick and shook it all the boys and girls, who were holding tightly to their mothers skirts, in fear and disbelief. The crowd’s screams reverberated off the concrete walls, in the same fashion as the monkey’s primal yodelling.
The mother’s grabbed their children, to drag them away from such heinous acts, but they weren’t able to take their eyes off the spectacle. Tripping over each other as they tried to escape, moving away physically but unable to release their mind from the psychic stimuli. That was over 50 years ago but I can still see it all play out in my mind. You can take the monkey out of the wild but you can’t take the wild out of the monkey.
What thought branch does your monkey always return to; that branch where it slows down just long enough to sling monkey shit? That’s probably the first belief that you need to hunt down and do battle with. Whatever it is, it needs to be destroyed. If you identify with it too much to want to do away with it, you can be certain that you’ve found the one, and if you don’t destroy it, it will destroy you.
False Beliefs
The belief may be the foundation of who you think you are and its demise could cause some chaos to your psyche, so a warrior must use great cunning. It could take a while; some guerrilla style attacks on the little lies that make up the bigger belief perhaps. At the same time setting cornerstones for the new, true belief that will replace the old one that doesn’t fit anymore. You need to become a warrior, it will take nothing less to defeat the enemy.
A warrior is patient and focused, keeping the guard up at all times. A warrior studies the belief, to effectively stalk it. A warrior must be able to wield one of his most powerful weapons, “quiet mind.” The best way to keep the monkey quiet is to ally with him; it will take some time before you can trust him, but he will be helpful in the future.
“Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak.” ― Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati
Many of the world’s spiritual traditions use meditation and prayer as the vehicle to achieve the peaceful space of “quiet mind.” They are very effective, but for the novice, they are daunting, requiring persistence and practice to master. A warrior needs to pursue these techniques with patience and determination. In the mean time there is a battle going on for your very existence and you need to get control now.
What are You Focused On?
Over the years I have studied the concept of Zen. Complete focus on a task, whether mental or physical lets your mind quiet down and concentrate, no time for monkey chatter. Instead of 50,000 random thoughts per day, ideas appear; your imagination and creativity shine through, attracting the attention of the monkey.
The monkey enjoys this peaceful region of the jungle; it’s greener and more fertile. Given the chance to live here the monkey will gladly stay, becoming an ally, helping you sift through thousands of tree branches looking for that one idea that fits perfectly in your life right now. The monkey shifts into a sleek jaguar, your jungle ally. “What are you focused on?” The big cat growls.
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
When you completely focus on the present moment giving life the best effort that you possibly can, no space remains for the chattering monkey. All spiritual traditions, relay a similar message, like; “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Do something, do it with complete attention and intention and you will find your path, mastering the present moment.
Natural Equilibrium
We are energetic beings that must maintain equilibrium. If something is removed, it must be replaced with something equal in weight. Some see obsession as negatively as they see addiction, but there’s a simple test. Does the outcome manifest positive or negative results? The weight of most destructive addictions is huge, (perhaps where the term elephant in the room came from). Something that weighs just as much will be required to maintain equilibrium. Nothing less than obsession will do. Find something you are passionate about and obsess over it.
Let’s consider an addiction to alcohol with an obsession of bicycling: on the alcohol side you have hungover, in jail, bruises all over your body with no idea where they came from, you’re broke and nobody will give you a chance. On the biking side you have a low resting pulse rate, strong thighs, lungs capable of blowing out all the candles on your birthday cake and the most important; self-esteem. Find something worth obsessing about, something that is bigger than your addiction, immerse yourself into it completely and master it. Once you’ve mastered it, find something else to master. Your journey requires you to completely engage.
Inner Child
There’s an ally that can be helpful in discovering your passions. It’s interesting that we drag along all of our tired, old limiting beliefs from the formative years, but leave the one entity that can make sense of it behind. During our formative years we evolve from a self centered child, where the entire world revolves around us, to the astounding awareness that there is something out there bigger than us, much bigger.
A world so big and so filled with potential that your imagination runs wild with all kinds of wonderful ideas and possibilities about how you will explore the vastness and who you will become. Your “Inner Child,” looked into the vastness and picked a path. Chose a practice for their journey in the Great Wide World.
Your “Inner Child” knows your path and your passions, you’re the one who stopped believing. Journey back and reconnect with your “Inner Child,” let them loose, with all those crazy ideas on how and what to explore. Cowboy, Surfer, Poet, Astronaut, Writer, Painter, Master’s Champion, Winner of the Tour de France.
“The child is in me still and sometimes not so still.” ― Fred Rogers
Find something that you really love to do and do it as hard as you can, to the best of your ability. If it keeps bringing you joy and positive energy keep doing it. If it stops, it’s time to move on to the next crazy idea. Obsessions are like attitudes – choose a good one and get on with it, trade it in, when it wears out.
Go Big or Go Home
I often wonder why so many of my writing hero’s and musical legends succumbed to the disease of addiction. Perhaps they identified too completely with a belief and when it didn’t fit the present moment, they kept clinging to it, trapping themselves. Afraid to let go; they were destroyed by the thing that previously brought them so much joy.
“Be the flame, not the moth.” ― Giacomo Casanova
A warrior must keep a chest of ideas and obsessions and effortlessly move from one to the next as the present moment dictates. The journey is not easy but it is the journey that is important. There is no reason to ponder the past, or to worry the future into being. The warrior always returns to the path. It is a simple physics problem as well, an equal and opposite force is required to counter an existing force. Addiction is big, it’s going to take something just as big to win the day, it’s like the old surfer saying, “Go Big or Go Home.”
A half-hearted, half-assed battle plan, will end in sure defeat. If you want to win against this enemy you will need to step up your game. Use your imagination and creativity; your allies will be onboard for whatever journey you can dream up. Paint your masterpiece; find what draws you to it and draw it to you. Drape it around your shoulders and dance. Revel in what brings you joy. Become a warrior, a lover, a magician or a King. Follow the path with Heart!
“The best surfer out there is the one having the most fun.” ~ Phil Edwards