Like many things in the Great Wide World, stress has many flavors. Society is not Ben & Jerry’s however and we don’t always appreciate the incredible spectrum of flavors. We lean towards, vanilla or chocolate; good or bad. We want to divide everything and place it at one end or the other of the good/bad spectrum. Stress though, we tend to see as all bad.
Chronic stress and distress are at one end of the spectrum. At the other, is Eustress, the flavor of good stress. I’ll have three scoops of that one, please. For a long time, I believed that all stress was bad; psychologically and emotionally draining, leaving me feeling exhausted. I never considered the other side of the coin. A cultural meme, tricked me into visualizing stress as being only harmful and detrimental to my wellbeing.
We are actually very well equipped to deal with acute stress, the fight or flight paradox. Chronic stress probably did not even exist until after the Industrial Revolution and the belief that earning a living was the most important thing we would do in our lifetime. Our bodies and minds are not designed to deal with it, leading to depression, anxiety and burnout. Eustress on the other hand creates power. It’s about engaging a challenge or being courageous and overcoming obstacles. That nervous sensation in the pit of your stomach when you get out on the edge of your comfort zone – that’s Eustress. The path of the warrior.
The Warrior’s Path
The mind prefers security, comfort and the status quo. So we need to understand that growth and change are going to be stressful. We have to embrace the stress and the challenge. On the physical plane, exercise, walking and running – are good stress. To grow stronger and increase our endurance we need to stress the physical body, pushing ourselves. Emotional stress is similar. Stress can be good! Eustress helps us overcome challenges to achieve what is important to us. We feel better about ourselves and grow our confidence.
So, is it a mind game? Is the difference between Eustress and Distress just perception? Is it our reaction or our ability to cope with the stressor or stimulus that determines whether it is good or bad? Anxiety and concern vs. excitement and pleasure. Many of the signs are the same – racing heart, shallow breathing, constricting blood vessels, clammy palms and that feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Adrenaline junkies actually go in search of stress, seeking out the activities and experiences that make them feel alive. Most of us would rather be comfortable and secure in our recliner. We get trapped by “all or nothing” thinking. Focusing on all of the stress, we do nothing. There is a middle path. Let the stress motivate you. Break the objective into smaller chunks. What is the smallest step you can take to achieve your objective? Take it. Let the journey unfold, one step at a time.
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”—Tao Te Ching
What Are You Focused On?
Intention is focused attention. When we choose to focus on the processes that manifest each moment on our journey, we create unbending intent to move forward, a step at a time. A lot of folks get frustrated when they don’t achieve their objective as quickly as they expect. Their motivation diminishes, their focus shifts and intent begins to bend. Then it’s back to the recliner. Frustration is a something for nothing flavored craving. A Warrior knows that goals worth focusing attention on, take a long time to achieve. They know that the slow, grinding process of learning something new is going to be stressful. To achieve our objective, we must crave the stress.
You know you have moved onto the Warrior’s path when you start craving stress over that pint of Chunky Monkey or Cherry Garcia. Awareness and curiosity are the keys. Recognize when motivation shifts towards attaining an objective quickly, rather than engaging yourself in the slow, stressful process of learning something new. Stay curious about what contributed to the outcome and what can be learned from it. Keep the question close and ask yourself every time frustration creeps in. “What are you focused on?”