The New Year is upon us and after we celebrate it’s arrival, everyone ponders making a resolution or two. Change things up a little bit, maybe go to the gym, lose a few pounds, find a new job, perhaps a new room mate, or a new spouse. Folks are always looking ahead to the next thing; the next day, the next week, the next year, the next vacation or the next spouse. But what you miss when you’re busy looking for the next thing that will hopefully bring you happiness is that the present moment is all there is. There’s no next, there’s only NOW!
It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of your very important life, and when you’re preoccupied with your thoughts and plans, you often lose focus of the present moment. So, slow down occasionally to experience the beauty of nature, savor some wonderful food, and cherish time spent with your loved ones, especially your spouse. Don’t get so wrapped up in the future that you forget to live in the NOW.
Stay in the Moment
When you begin to focus on the present, you experience the joy and peace that come from being fully engaged with what is. It doesn’t mean that you never get distracted, it just means that you work harder to stay in the moment, especially with other people. Staying focused on the person and the conversation. Besides creating a deeper and more meaningful relationship, you might actually learn something.
“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” ~ Amit Ray
When I was younger, I suffered from “Already Listening” disease. I didn’t always hear what other people were saying. I just waited for them to quit talking, so I could share the real truth with them. Hell, sometimes I didn’t even wait for them to quit talking, I’d get antsy and jump right in. My mind was constantly constructing intricate dialogue possibilities, instead of actually listening to what people were saying. “Already Listening” disease is a bit like Eczema or Herpes too, it can reappear at the worst possible time. Like “Foot in Mouth” disease, it can do serious damage to relationships.
It’s All About Relationships
Relationships can only be cultivated in the present moment. When regret and worry creep in, it’s often your relationships that get sacrificed. There are few things more frustrating than not being able to escape the confusing thoughts ensnaring you in the past or the future. Breathe – count your breaths if you have to; it will bring your focus back into the now, where relationships are experienced.
It might be helpful to take a closer look at your thoughts and habits. What are you focused on? What are your triggers? Once you identify your patterns, you can begin to do something different. The most effective way to reduce stress, anxiety and worry is to focus your attention and intention into the NOW. Be aware of your thoughts and your surroundings and take time to appreciate the simple things in life.
“The true definition of mental illness is when the majority of your time is spent in the past or future, but rarely living in the realism of NOW.” ~ Shannon L. Alder
Past, Future and Virtual
The past and future aren’t the only things that will steal the present moment from you. The interconnectedness and reliance on modern technology might even be more detrimental to staying centered in the NOW. What you focus on is critical to your happiness and success. You are the one who needs to decide your focus. Getting ensnared by a virtual world is no different then being lost in the past or the future.
I reckon that you’ve heard most of this many times. Probably because it’s all pretty important. But as I look around in the Great Wide World, it seems as if we’re not getting the message. Anxiety, stress and unhappiness seem to ooze out of a large percentage of the population. Maybe this NOW Year, we all need to make a resolution to be more mindful.
A couple of ideas.
Start a Journal - whether you are letting go of the day that is behind you or are pondering the day to come, a journal let's you pour out a stream of consciousness that recenters you in the present moment. Create a daily routine - Distraction and disorder are the enemy of action. An unordered mind gets trapped somewhere in the past or the future, losing focus of what’s right in front of it – NOW. Order is what keeps us in sync with what is, and routine provides that order. Routine is a recipe for life. Take a Walk - Not on a treadmill either. This is all about getting out in nature and engaging your senses. What do you see? What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you feel? If you only do one thing to improve your mindfulness, this is the one. If you take a walk in nature everyday, I can guarantee you'll become more mindful, centered and present. If you do it with your spouse, I can guarantee everlasting happiness and joy!
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh